Pemberton & Associates, LLC NEW!
Global Logistics Consulting · Discreet Solutions Since 1998
Office hours: Mon–Fri, 11pm–4am EST
NOTICE: We are a fully licensed consultancy. ▌ Please disregard the prior bulletin. ▌ All transactions are 100% legal in at least one jurisdiction. ▌ We are NOT the Pemberton currently under investigation. ▌ Honour. Justice. Camaraderie. Discretion. ▌NOTICE: We are a fully licensed consultancy. ▌ Please disregard the prior bulletin. ▌ All transactions are 100% legal in at least one jurisdiction. ▌ We are NOT the Pemberton currently under investigation. ▌ Honour. Justice. Camaraderie. Discretion. ▌NOTICE: We are a fully licensed consultancy. ▌ Please disregard the prior bulletin. ▌ All transactions are 100% legal in at least one jurisdiction. ▌ We are NOT the Pemberton currently under investigation. ▌ Honour. Justice. Camaraderie. Discretion. ▌
Site Navigation
Site of the Week:
Pemberton & Associates
(unanimous decision)
Visitors:
000847
(yes, it goes down)
Best viewed in:
Internet Explorer 6
at 800×600

About Pemberton & Associates, LLC

Our History

Founded in 1998 by fourteen individuals, all named Pemberton, our firm grew from a single rented office above a kebab shop in Lower Belize into a globally distributed consultancy that operates from buildings we do not own, in countries we do not list, for clients we do not name.

Today we serve a select international clientele bound by mutual respect, mutual silence, and mutual non-disclosure agreements. Our values — Honour, Justice, Camaraderie, and Discretion — have remained unchanged since founding, except for "Discretion", which was added in 2002 after an incident.

Meet the Founders

(All founders are named Pemberton. We have decided to lean into it.)

PhotoNameTitleBio
Mr. Pemberton IFounderFounded the firm. Wrongful arrest charges dropped, 2001.
Mr. Pemberton IICo-FounderSpecializes in 'logistics'. Has never been photographed.
Mr. Pemberton IIICo-FounderHolds the firm's 'fun' portfolio.
Mr. Pemberton IVSenior FounderCannot legally enter Switzerland. Or France. Or one specific Wendy's.
Mr. Pemberton VJunior FounderBrought us our first Fabergé egg (cracked).
Mr. Pemberton VIFounding CousinOwns three (3) shovels for unrelated reasons.
Mr. Pemberton VIIHonorary FounderIs technically a goose. Long story.
Mr. Pemberton VIIIStep-FounderInherited the role; was previously a sommelier.
Mr. Pemberton IXFounding GooseYes, an actual goose. Productivity has been excellent.
Mr. Pemberton XFounder EmeritusOfficially retired in 1999. Continues to attend every meeting.
Mr. Pemberton XIFounder At LargeOperates from somewhere we are not allowed to disclose.
Mr. Pemberton XIIFounder (Suspended)Suspended pending an investigation that we are conducting ourselves.
Mr. Pemberton XIIIFounder (Reinstated)Was reinstated after an appeal we also conducted ourselves.
Mr. Pemberton XIVFounder (Pending)Pending confirmation. Has been pending since 2003.

Why Us?

Because everyone else said no.

Contact us » · Join our team »

A word from our actual company:GET PAID (LEGALLY)FREE THERAPY (REAL)HeliLog ProXYLORA STUDIOS DISCORDHeliLog Pro DiscordXylora Studios

Page 1 of 1,000,000 · This page has been viewed by 0 humans · Last updated 04/12/03 · Powered by Microsoft FrontPage 2003 (allegedly) ·

🚨 WORST WEBSITE EVER
We're building it on purpose. Send us the thing you hate most.
Submit an idea »🫂 FREE THERAPY (REAL)
therapy.xylorastudios.com — actual free therapy from Xylora Studios. Possibly needed after this page.
Talk to someone »💬 XYLORA STUDIOS DISCORD
Where the worst website ideas are collected and lovingly built.
Join the server »🚁 HELILOG PRO DISCORD
Pilots, logbooks, and adults. Come see how a normal community behaves.
Join the server »
💸 GET PAID
Xylora Ambassadors — a real programme with real money, unlike everything else on this page.
Apply now »💬 Xylora Discord
Come tell us what you hate about websites. We write it down.
Join »
PUNCH THE MONKEY!
Win nothing.
⚠ YOUR COMPUTER MAY BE INFECTED ⚠
(it is.)
HOT SINGLES
in your area (allegedly)
FREE RAM!
Verified by:
VeriSomething™

SSL-ish

Goose Authority
Live Chat: Agent Karen is online
(Karen is not her real name)
under constructionThis page is constantly being improved.
© 1998–2087 Pemberton & Associates, LLC. Some rights asserted. No wrongs reserved.
Member of the Better Business Bureau (pending appeal). ISO-9001 certified (self-attested). Trustpilot rating: 4.97 ★ (3 reviews, all by Mr. Pemberton).
Built with love, fear, and 47 cups of coffee.
Privacy Policy · Cookie Policy · Terms of Service · Registered office: somewhere.
🚨WORST WEBSITE EVER
Send us your worst idea »